I used to be bad with girls. I still am, but I used to too.

Growing up I thought there was some formula that I could use to get girls. I like to think Newton did something other that make my grade 12 physics experience miserable. I hated being too nervous to talk to girls. Seeing people who shouldn’t be adding to the gene pool go on and meet their significant others really didn’t make me feel any better.

I must have missed something. There had to have been a lesson, a class, a series of lectures on girls that I skipped and no one decided to fill me in on. Instead, I spent years trying to catch up. I broke down every situation into something that I could use on any girl without fail. I wanted to be the Billy Beane of dating.

After a lot of trial and getting slapped, I finally came up with something. A formula of sorts. Something that I could use over and over again without fail. And it worked. Every. Single. Time. And yeah, I know this sounds terrible but it’s the truth.

And now that weirdly shaped 18 year old kid could go out and not have to glue himself to the wall at parties with girls. The butterflies that tied his stomach into knots every time a girl walked into his line of vision was eaten by the frog that sat in his throat and the frog in his throat, the same frog that kept him from making sounds, was drowned by the sea of words that poured out from his mouth. And all because of some formula. A little code to live by.

But I realized that it wasn’t the formula. There is no Moneyball for dating. That thing we call game is bullshit. Game isn’t real, it’s just a fancier way of saying confidence. And that’s what I realized. There is no secret formula. It was something I just made up to blame my shortcomings on because it’s really about being confident, and not letting the butterflies in my stomach stop me from doing what I wanted.

It’s about taking that risk when chances are you’ll fall flat on your face into a steaming pile of horse shit. And that’s exactly what every theory on getting a girlfriend is. Horse shit. There isn’t a magical pickup line, a seductive look, or game that you can play to woo a women. All you need is confidence. And that will take you further than any theory you can come up with. It’s better than anything you’ll find in a book because there’s so much more to girls than finding out what she means when she texts “Heyyyyyy 😛 “.

How do I get a girlfriend? Go up to that cute girl with glasses and a hoodie that’s standing alone at a party eating crappy pizza and drinking orange crush from a red solo cup and say, “what up?”. Go out into this big beautiful world and talk to every girl you see. Get rejected because it’s going to happen and it’s going to happen a lot. And then do it all again. Go and get your 99 slaps because eventually one of them will say yes.

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